I don’t know about you, but once Thanksgiving is over, I always feel a little thicker around the middle.
And a little bit depressed about it.
I’ve had one too many helpings, one too many pieces of pie.
It’s to be expected, right? Thanksgiving doesn’t come but once a year.
I know that in my head.
But often times, fear and discouragement set in.
>>> I’m getting fat.
>>> I’ll never be skinny.
>>> I hate my body.
If I heard someone else say that, I would tell them they are being way too hard on themselves.
But when it comes to my own self-talk, there’s often a fair bit of self-loathing.
Where did that come from?
For me, it started some time around junior high. Girls began to compare bodies. Boys began to comment on them. Throw in Seventeen magazine, fat-free food, Diet Coke and Cindy Crawford work out videos, and you have a recipe for an eating disorder.
I don’t know if mine was ever full-blown. But it was an unhealthy cycle of yo-yo dieting and obsessive exercise that made me feel enslaved. The exhausting part was the way I felt about myself—my self-esteem shot up and down with my weight. When I was ‘skinny’ I felt good, yet there was always the lurking fear that I would get ‘fat.’ When I was ‘fat,’ I felt ugly and ashamed.
I remember one night in college, crying on the floor after a late night binge, full of self-loathing, when I started praying.
Help me, Father. Rescue me from this cycle of slavery. I am too weak to rescue myself.
And you know what, y’all? He answered. It wasn’t immediate. But slowly, over time, He helped me change the narrative in my head. I began to meditate on His word, to soak in the beautiful truths of the Bible that tell me I am His beloved child, that I am made in His image, and that I am fearfully and wonderfully made.
Today, I have a heart for young women who struggle with body image. As superficial as it may seem on the outside, I know how vicious the cycle can be and how easy it is to become consumed by it.
Heavenly Father, I pray for these young women, for my own daughter, and for myself. Would You help us to see ourselves as You see us—holy and precious, beautiful, beloved, fearfully and wonderfully made?
All Rights Reserved | Amanda McKinley
Privacy & Terms
New Paragraph
New Paragraph
New Paragraph