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Parenting Lesson Learned through Failure

Jun 13, 2022

In case I have perpetuated the myth that our family is nailing it when it comes to parenting, let me prove otherwise by sharing a recent scenario.




First off - let me say this: my oldest child came out of the womb assuming he was in charge. 🤣


I blame our Scotch-Irish heritage for that. McKinley + McDonald = 🔥offspring. My mom is having a good chuckle.


One day when Daddy was out of town, the kids and I decided to surprise him by mowing the lawn and raking leaves. Yard work is NOT my fav 😳 so this was definitely a labor of love.


My son had a vision for how we should go about it. Unfortunately, he did not clearly articulate that vision to me or my daughter. We had barely been raking 15 minutes when he comes storming over and starts yelling at us, saying that we were doing it all wrong.


That didn’t sit well with sister. She proceeded to throw her rake down and storm inside. I was about to yell back at him for being disrespectful and send him to his room. But I’d done that a million times before and it only seemed to harden him and make the situation more volatile.


This time, I decide to try the ‘gentle answer turns away wrath’ approach.


So I said, ‘Hey Buddy, I am happy to do yard work your way because I know you have a vision. But I don’t feel like you are bringing us along in your process.’


He started explaining and defending what he wanted, but I said, ‘Remember what Daddy always says?’


He nodded.


‘You get more bees with honey than with sticks.’


And guess what? This time, he softened. He apologized for his anger to both Ellie and I and then calmly explained his vision. Had we done it my way, it would’ve taken twice as long and not looked nearly as good.


Everyday is a learning opportunity with our kids. In that moment, I decided to look past the behavior (which I’m not sure was right?!?) and try to connect with his heart. I was so thankful he softened and we were able to surprise Daddy with a beautifully manicured lawn. ❤️


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