Well folks, we're finally at that stage. My kids are officially tweeners-going-on-teenagers.
What I've observed so far: >>Lots of BIG EMOTIONS<<
What hasn't worked:>>Angry lectures, shaming, consequences without connection<<
What I'm trying to do more of: >>Look past the behavior and into THEIR HEART<<
Easier said than done, Lord help me.
Last night, after an especially rough weekend with lots of moping, grumpiness, angry outbursts and disrespectful words, I invited this one particular child to join me on a walk. It was late, it was dark, and we were both tired, but I felt the Lord prompting me to connect with him.
It was a 10 minute walk. But in those 10 minutes, as I listened without judgment, he poured out all that was heavy on his heart to me. You guys, it was a >>HOLY MOMENT<< I felt privileged to be there, present with him, as he tenderly shared all that was bothering him. Normally, my tendency would be to go into fix-it mode or fearful mode. But I did neither. Thank you, Jesus. I just listened and empathized. Almost immediately, the defensive posture went away, the tender-hearted boy I knew came back (he's still in there, hallelujah!).
And in that moment, >>I SAW MYSELF<<
I was once an angsty teenager with big emotions. I was once afraid of myself, wondering what was wrong with me, worried I was 'out of control.' I remember feeling all of those things - the awkwardness, the rejection, the insecurity and shame. And what did I need more than anything, in that moment? Someone to sit with me in my emotions and listen, without judgment, and love me right there in that moment, just as I was.
So I did that, to the best of my ability, and the walls came down. Thank You, Lord.
And isn't that how God loves us? He doesn't look down on us with condemnation and lectures and anger. He is waiting for us to run to Him, to climb up into His lap and pour out all that weighs heavy on our hearts. He is eager for us to come to Him, to press in close and cry our hearts out. He is the Great Comforter and the Perfect Father.
Thank You, Lord, for that holy moment last night. Thank You for reminding me that my child is not a problem to fix or a patient to diagnose or an issue to resolve with the perfect consequence. He is your precious and beloved child, as am I, and you are our Good Father.
Thank You for loving me first. I love You. Amen
This amazing art is by my friend, Julia Mann, who you MUST check out: Julia Embrey Mann and The Art of Julia Mann. This sketch is similar to many she does with Aslan and Lucy from the Chronicles of Narnia, but this one is actually her with the Lion. I thought this was appropriate for this post because it reminds me that while the Lion is not tame, He is good, and we can come to Him and pour out our heart to Him and He hears us.
https://www.instagram.com/p/CSzbEp-rMYf/...
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